Sasuke Blog

Chris Barnicle finished last at Saturday's trials for the male U.S. Olympic marathon team, but the dude who calls himself the "world's fastest stoner" definitely takes first place in our hearts. Barnicle finished 105th out of 105 marathoners in Los Angeles, so it's safe to say he won't be traveling to Rio de Janeiro for the 2016 games this summer. But, like, whatever, man. The 28-year-old gave the world an awesome story instead. You might be wondering how Barnicle even qualified for the Trials. He was "once a promising young runner, with times of 13:36.02 for 5,000 meters and 28:10.59 for 10,000 meters," according to Runner's World. He even trained with a famous coach in Kenya. But a chronic injury to a muscle in his lower calf squashed his serious running career. He also loves to get high — especially while running. He entered the business of wholesale distribution for medical marijuana dispensaries after his running career fizzled in 2014. Las...

Amir Hussain Lone lost both his arms in an accident when he was just eight years old, but that didn't prevent him from pursuing his dream of playing cricket. Now 26, the cricketer from northern India's Kashmir region is winning fans with his determination and unique technique. In 1997, Lone lost his arms in an accident with a machine at his father's sawmill, which manufactured cricket bats. His father had to sell his mill to pay for the treatment. Despite his troubles, Lone became self-sufficient by selling walnuts to support himself and learning how to perform everyday tasks. He also developed his own techniques to bat, bowl, field and even catch. Lone is currently the captain of Jammu and Kashmir's para-cricket team. He bats by holding his cricket bat between his neck and shoulder and bowls by holding the ball with his toes. Watch him in action in the video below. Have something to add to this story? Share it in the comments.

Hank the dog is very much alive and the same dog he ever was, not a replacement dog smuggled in under the cover of night and also named Hank to dupe innocent fans of both baseball and dogs. That's all true — if you believe what MLB's Milwaukee Brewers said in a press conference Friday. But: Do you believe what MLB's Milwaukee Brewers said in a press conference Friday? Or ... *Takes bong rip* *Exhales voluminous cloud of smoke* *Coughs three times* Or do you believe the truth is more complicated and still out there, lurking somewhere beneath the surface-level corporate lines the sports industrial complex tries to feed you, man? Let's investigate. First, we must understand Hank's origin story. Hank is a fluffy little white dog who used to be a stray. Then he wandered into the Brewers 2014 spring training, got adopted by the team, became beloved by Milwaukee fans and eventually fulfilled his destiny as the team's unofficial mascot. Now, the question you have to ask...

Year after year, the NFL Draft spawns weird analyses of future football pros — transforming the entire process into something that resembles a cross between a livestock market and a psychology exam. This, however, takes the weirdness cake: The Atlanta Falcons publicly apologized Friday for asking one highly touted prospect during a pre-draft interview if he "likes men." Cornerback Eli Apple is expected to be a first-round pick in April after a standout career at Ohio State. During a recent appearance on Comcast SportsNet, Apple was asked about some of the more bizarre job interview questions he's been faced with. "I've been asked a lot of weird questions. I don't know if I could say on TV," Apple initially replied. Then he told the story and — well, this isn't how job interviews normally start! "The Falcons coach, one of the coaches, was like, 'So do you like men?'" Apple said . "It was like the first thing he asked me. It was...

  Life seems so much simpler for cavepeople. You wake up, wander out of your door-less hole in the ground, swing a club at a deer or two and roast up some fresh venison over an open fire. It sounds positively idyllic. Don't be fooled. The world of 10,000 B.C. portrayed in Far Cry Primal is a harsh place, filled with sabretooth tigers and cave bears and cannibalistic neanderthal tribes that all want to make a meal out of you. The enemies you face in the game might not have guns, but neither do you. Survival requires effort. Effort and assistance. That's why you're here, after all. We've spent more than 25 hours running around in Primal's prehistoric world, and we have some advice to share with all you would-be cavepeople out there. 1. Stick to the story for the first hour or two The opening bits of Far Cry Primal railroad you through some important story exposition while also teaching the fundamentals of Takkar's — that's your caveman avatar — hunter/gathere...

Sometimes when you have a property as massive as Pokémon, you can’t just relegate it to one series or one type of game. You need your spin-offs, offshoots and weird departures to give a rounded experience within the universe. And wow, Pokémon has had a lot of spin-offs. From fighting games to photography simulators, racing games to adventures, Pokémon has run the gamut of genres featuring its Pocket Monster cast. Whether they’re fantastic games, bad games or just plain weird, these games all have their place within the 20 years of Pokémon history. This isn’t a complete list of spin-off Pokémon games, but it covers a lot of ground and features some of the most important in the franchise. 1. Hey You, Pikachu!     Released within a month after Pokémon Gold and Silver, Hey You, Pikachu! is probably best remembered as an interesting experiment. Before the days of Nintendogs, Pikachu acted as your own personal virtual pet, reacting to words spoken into a microphone peripheral on the...

Twenty years ago, the original 150 Pokémon captured our imaginations with their incredible powers, fighting spirit and (let's be honest) cuteness. But even after two decades and multiple games, TV series and films, the Pokémon franchise still hasn't really answered one question: How the hell do these things work? 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 How does Blastoise generate the water it pumps out of those hydrocannons? How does Charizard's tail stay on fire? And how does Geodude float? Perhaps we'll never know. But below we imagined the inner workings of nine classic pocket monsters. If you lived in the Pokéverse, perhaps this is what you'd see in science textbooks. Have something to add to this story? Share it in the comments.

The next, big PlayStation 4 update introduces a number of features that make the Sony console more competitive with Microsoft's Xbox One — including Remote Play capabilities for Mac and Windows PCs. Until now, PS4 Remote Play has been restricted to the PS Vita handheld. But firmware update 3.50 will bring the same functionality to home computers. It's not yet clear how streaming will work, but it should be preferable to the Vita and its more limited control scheme. Also coming in update 3.50 are a number of social and party features that Microsoft has offered since the Xbox 360 days. PS4 users will now be able to tweak privacy settings so they can appear offline even when they're using the console. Also coming are updates to the party system. One displays which games other party members are playing, while another sends out a notification when "favorite" friends pop online. There's no timetable for the update's release, though a PlayStation Blog post confi...

One of the lingering questions chasing The Division — especially among Destiny fans looking for a new loot grind to fixate on — is what the endgame looks like. Now, finally, we have a better sense of things. The New York City-set role-playing game allows players to level up, earning additional abilities and gear as they go. But once the story is over, where do you use all that sweet gear you fought so hard for? A new announcement on Ubisoft's post-release plans introduces Incursions, in which "[t]eams will be able to test their skills as they face seemingly unstoppable enemies to gain high-level weapons and equipment." While there are likely to be fundamental differences between the two, this sounds like The Division's take on a Destiny raid. The game's first Incursions will be added in a free title update that's expected to launch in April. Also included in the April update is support for loot trading. Loot trading in a game like this always introduces the da...

If you were hoping to see Disney Infinity 4.0 in September, brace yourself: It's not happening. Disney has a plan, though. We might not see a totally new game in 2016, but we will see four significant "playset" packs, each of which will add the equivalent of a full game to the platform that is Disney Infinity. The order of things has yet to be determined, but expect one Marvel playset, one Star Wars playset, one Disney playset and one Pixar playset. We do know that Marvel is coming first, with the Marvel Battlegrounds playset arriving on Mar. 15. Battlegrounds shows how developer Avalanche Softwar will use playset expansions to stand in for a proper sequel. The idea? Introduce new twists on Infinity gameplay, such as the four-player Smash Bros-style beat 'em up of Battlegrounds. "We're really excited to be able to bring new genres and new gameplay types that fit that franchise best," Blackburn told Mashable. "All the different playsets embrace diffe...

Dory's back, and she's got some brand new friends. The latest trailer for Finding Dory, the sequel to Finding Nemo, reveals more of the film's plot and characters including a whale who's a bad swimmer and a sneaky, scared octopus. Ellen DeGeneres voices the title character, who's trying to learn more about her life pre-forgetfulness. Finding Dory hits theaters June 17. Have something to add to this story? Share it in the comments.

    Was Jurassic Park really about the dinosaurs? Or was it more of a parable about human ambition, our inability to control the environment, etc., etc.? Either way, William Hirsch of the YouTube channel Vidsplode took an iconic clip from the film and removed the beasts from the equation. Fittingly named just "Park," the story's now about paleontologists who are amazed by the beauty of a rather nice park.

For every baby that loves to nap, there is another wide-awake one that needs to go the f*ck to sleep. In a short segment for Vanity Fair, the Juno actress endearingly shares what it's like to live under her roof when it reaches bedtime and Mommy needs some f*cking time to herself. Garner soothingly reads a few excerpts from a child's book titled, Go the F*ck to Sleep, penned by Adam Mansbach and drawn by Ricardo Cortés. So lay your weary head down as the sweet voice of the Alias actress lulls you into slumber in the most poetic f*cking way.

Creative cursing isn't just for the TV version of Snakes on a Plane . Burger Fiction cuts together some of the finest examples from films of characters keeping it PG, calling people things like "dirt eating piece of slime," "french tickler" and of course "cotton headed ninnymuggins".